When saying Yes doesn't make any sense

Miriam playing hide and seek this morning.

The days meld into each other...each day begins coffee in hand and ends with moments of quiet after a day full of activity. All around is evidence of life being lived...crumbs and trucks, books and swimsuits, laughter and grace. Yet it's the present and sometimes the present feels lacking. To focus on the present is hard...when you are longing to hear what's supposed to happen next. You want to hear the next chapter in the story but can't seem to find it and keep waiting for the author to reveal it. You ponder and you question...is this really true of me or should I focus on something else? Am I really good at that or perhaps I just think I am? You ask others...and get again what you've always heard. Yes...It's true. So why do you keep having the same conversation with yourself over and over again?

Oh right because the yes doesn't make any sense...at least not in the context of fear, the need for control and security, the need to see the outcome. Sometimes what we know to be true...doesn't make any sense and the decisions it requires to follow that truth seem like walking blind. But isn't that what faith is all about? Hearing God speak and trusting Him that where he is leading is the best place to be. If you can't hear the next step...go back to the last thing you know He called you to and rest. When God is silent perhaps he has already spoken. Perhaps he's revealed the truth to you already and you need to keep walking the path you are on in obedience. That's where I am. I keep thinking that this whole counseling thing doesn't make sense in light of our current lifestyle in the military...why should I keep pursuing something that is going to be nearly or at least feels nearly impossible to do? I mean I need to move every two years.... how in the world am I going to practice in a job that requires different license requirements everywhere you go? It costs money and time... and what if I feel frustrated that here I am with all this paper behind my name and no way to use it.  You see we can always find evidence for why we should say no. There's plenty of reasons to stay put...to not step out in faith...because the yes doesn't make any sense.

Yet...I know he called me to this....this thing called counseling and this lifestyle of faith. My being at DTS was no accident and what I gained there and at Fellowship were not just meant to fill the space but to fill my faith and prepare for what is to come. So I need to keep on keeping on and make some decisions in faith not in fear. I need to keep pursuing what he said Yes to and not what I say no to. Just because I can't see how it's going to turn out doesn't mean its not worth doing. His ways are better than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. So what about you? What do you need to say yes to that doesn't make any sense?