Happy Monday! My father in law is in town and we are enjoying having Papa Louie around. Here is the final and last installment of the coming home series. For clarity's sake I have included both part one and two in this post along with my final thoughts. :)
When you hear the word home what comes to mind? For many the
word home means family, refuge, love, comfort, peace. We often think of
home in reference to our childhood homes…the place where we grew up and the
experiences we had there. We saw our parents as larger than life figures that
knew everything and protected us from the boogie man and that mean kid in
first grade.
Home was the only place we were truly safe. As we enter adulthood we desire to leave home in order to spread our wings …to learn to fly on our own. We want to establish our identity, our purpose, our community. Yet, when the winds of freedom begin to batter at our fragile newly formed wings our first instinct is often to fly home. In the beginning it may work… our home is not much changed from what we remembered. We can go home and sink into the safety of the nest. However, as we get older and change so does our home. The house may have been sold, our rooms turned into something else, or those precious loved ones may have passed on. We find that the home we long for has changed and we can’t get back to that place. There’s some truth in the adage once you leave home you can never truly go back. But just because we can’t get back home doesn’t mean the desire or the longing for home goes away. It sits there in the midst of our hearts groaning….
You see the thing is that this groan has been there all
along. It was there from our beginning. When we cried our first breath the
groan was already present we just didn’t realize it yet. The groan has been present
since Adam and Eve turned around and saw the angels standing guard at the
entrance of Eden. What they knew of home was gone and in its place was a
shadow of what used to be and
in their heart now a groan.
Like Adam and Eve we were created with eternity in mind and our
heart knows that (Ecc 3:11). So their struggle is our struggle and their groan
is our groan. Can I Just tell you that this is not just some wimpy groan
either? This is a groan that seeks to be filled (2 Cor. 5:1-8). Our
longing to be “at home” with Jesus is core deep and just because we can’t see
it or don’t realize it doesn't mean it has no impact. So let me stop
here and just tell you what God revealed to me recently about my own groaning.
This spring I studied the book of Revelation through a study by Beth
Moore. Revelation is mysterious, amazing, life changing, and hope filled.
I can’t say enough about studying this book of the Bible. It will transform how
you view God and will give hope where you thought fear would come.
It’s the last week of our study and we are digging into what
the New Jerusalem will look like. We are talking about Home. Revelation 21:1-4
states, “Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”[a] for the first heaven and the first
earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I
saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from
God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now
among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people,
and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He
will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or
pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Did you catch that? God’s dwelling place will be among
us…and He will wipe away every tear. I just want to stop and take that
all in. Not only will there be no more crying, pain, or death in heaven…Our
father, the maker of heaven and earth, will take His glorious precious hand and
wipe our tear stained cheeks. Oh how tender is His love for us. Every
broken heart brought on by every kind of gut wrenching trauma will be healed.
We will finally be home with Him. The groan will be satisfied.
It is in this moment in the middle of Bible study as I am
reading these words that I am getting a glimpse of the heart of God.
Lord, I want this….this home. And as I am speaking in my heart…the
Holy Spirit reveals to me overwhelming truth. Your struggle, this wanting something
more…this pushing hard to be something will not do what you want it to. You are
pursuing significance in the hope that it will fill the ever present groan for
home. You see I have been pushing. Pushing to do something, be something….
If I can do this counseling thing and support myself then I have made it.
But in one moment stopped in time God revealed to me this simply isn't true. Is
there anything wrong with pursuing my dream? No there’s not. But I was
hoping it would do something it simply can't do. It can’t satisfy my
longing for home. I could be the leading counselor in the country and it
won't fill that void.
This was life changing truth for me. How many of us are
walking around seeking to fill the void ourselves? How many are seeking home in
the form of a relationship? How many are seeking home in the form of an
addiction? How many are seeking home when they try with every fiber of their
being to gain the approval of their parents?
I realize too that for some who may be reading this, home
was not a haven but a hard place. It was a place of brokenness filled with
broken people. To those whose homes were
defined by hurt this groan can be all encompassing. Your life may be defined by
seeking what you never had or ensuring your present has no repetition of the
past. Can I just say that whatever your past may be there is hope for now and
the future. When I understood that my
striving for significance wouldn't bring me home….I was free. I no longer felt compelled to drive myself in
this direction at all costs. I could now focus on the present and what God was
calling me to rather than what I was calling myself to. God wants you to be free too. He wants you to stop striving for home and
find your home in Him.
On this side of eternity we cannot satisfy the groan
ourselves but we can go to the One who can. God can fill what we can’t fill. There
will be times when we are going to want to try and fill the void ourselves. When
we find ourselves in this place we need to 1) Stop and take inventory and 2) Seek
Him. You see just because I know why I was pursuing significance doesn't mean I
will never have those same desires again.
You see it’s easier to try and fill the void than it is to sit in it and
seek Him. So when our ache for home sends us reeling we need to stop, sit in
the moment, and take inventory. We need to ask ourselves what’s really going on
here. What am I feeling and why? Am I feeling lonely or is it fear about the
future or something else? The purpose of the inventory is to know what we are
up against…what we are dealing with. We can’t change what we don’t know is
there. It’s ok if we can’t pinpoint
specifics. We just need to be able to say ok this is really not about what’s
going on externally this is about me and my own groaning.
You see in Him is peace for our souls. We need to run to Him, to the one who can satisfy, to the one who loves us more than we can fathom. Go lay your groaning at his feet and take his yoke upon you and find peace. Wherever you are at in your spiritual journey start there…if you know you can pray for five minutes do that. If you can get up and spend time in His Word do that. If you can memorize scripture do that. I myself am drawn to Ephesians 3:14-21 right now so this is where I run to. Whatever you are able to do just do it. Just seek Him…He is faithful and His Word in us will not return void. As we seek Him, He will satisfy...
Until one day when our eternity with Him is before us and we are lovingly welcomed home for good.
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