As a mother it feels as though the weight of my children's lives hangs on my every decision. How I raise them will determine who they are. If I am the perfect mother they will be awesome adults. Oh how easy it is to get caught in this trap. The trap that says all outcomes in life are based on personal control. If I can control it then it will be ok. If I can control me and what I do or don't do all the time then there's no reason my children won't turn out the way I want. In other words they will turn out to be my vision of success.
But here's the truth about us moms. We aren't perfect. In fact we are often times a mess. We don't have perfect houses filled with people that have perfect patience and perfect temperaments. We are moms who live on coffee and little sleep. We are moms who try to take in the Word between commercials and potty breaks. We are moms who lose our patience and once again find ourselves asking for forgiveness from little tear stained faces. We have children who throw tantrums and wake up on the wrong side of the bed. We have children who fight tooth and nail with their siblings every waking moment of the day. Regardless of what your mess looks like it's there. It's there staring you right in the face and mocking your perfect mom plan. I know it's mocking mine. "You think your kids will do great things? Look at you... you don't make projects from Pinterest to educate your children? How can you think that your a good mom and your kids will be good kids? Not to mention the pop-tarts you fed your kids this morning and the hours of TV you let them watch. You might as well give up now."
Here's the thing about this internal voice and your mess. The voice is a lie. The mess is just that a mess. Life is messy, so what? The bottom line is that we as moms have to start outing that voice for what it is...a need for control that manifests itself with shame and condemnation. Let's start changing our plans of perfection into plans of progression. Let's start making Ephesians 2:8-10 our mantra. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
You, mom, are a beautiful mess...God's handiwork...God's masterpiece...a work in progress. Your kids don't need to see your perfection they need to see your progression. They need to see that we rely on God and that our lives are dependent upon Him. They need to see that we mess up and that we seek forgiveness and grace to change. They need to see that we seek wise counsel and then listen to it. They need to see the mess in the midst of the transformation.
And can I tell you one more thing about us and our kid?. We aren't responsible for their decisions. We aren't their Holy Spirit. We aren't their Jesus. They have a Savior and they don't need us to try to take His spot. All we can do is lead and encourage but we cannot will it or control it.There is great freedom in this truth. When our children walk with Jesus... He takes over. He takes over their growth and their heart. I am who I am, not because of what my mother did or didn't do. I am who I am, because of who my Savior is and how I have chosen to listen to His voice. You see, Jesus is changing my mess into a masterpiece. stroke by stroke; and he can do that for my kids too. I am going to write Philippians 1:6 on my heart and let that peace take over when it comes to the vision for my kids. "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." Jesus can carry me to completion and He is the only one who can carry my kids there too. I am laying down my perfection plan and picking up my progression plan.
Amen. :)
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